I HAVE NEVER FALLEN IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE THIS QUICK!! I AM TOUCHED!!

   Hi guys, I woke up this morning and came across this video and I immediately knew that I had to blog this. Sorry you haven’t heard from me in while. Like I said in the heading, I have falling in love this girl called Talia on YouTube simply based on her video.

If this video am about to show you doesn’t inspire you and encourage you, then I don’t know what will, lol…Am all about sharing LOVE and Positive energy (atleast I try) and that is exactly what this video emphasizes. If I had any reason to complain today, I will postpone that after seeing this video. Enjoy and Stay Blessed guys and let’s say a prayer for Talia (My Angel) and the families of Hayley!! (already an Angel) RIP Hayley.

Love..Laugh...Pray!!

Message to Hayley from Talia!

You should read the note after this video!
RIP Hayley...You are in a better place. This is one of my fave songs btw! Hero!!
                         

                                  

If you feel touched and want to help...two links for you. Thanks!

http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f87d4c2a71fca210VgnVCM1000001e0215acRCRD&sc_cid=kwp2&sc_kw=st%20judes&sc_mt=e&sc_adid=10141226122&plt=STJGENSEGOOGL0002070&gclid=CJj98rGkvLACFUOo4AodoWwpog

http://www.ccfoa.org/

WHAT IS LOVE?!!

 I KNOW I ALWAYS SAY THIS IS A MUST READ BUT HONESTLY YOU NEED TO READ THIS ARTICLE. I came across this yesterday on Facebook and shared it with a couple of friends and trust me, we all loved it. Very insightful! This article hits the nail right on the head, it tells us what LOVE really is and trust me, it’s not what you think. The one thing I took from this article is that Love is not a fairy tale(have real expectations), be tolerant and know that compromise and sacrifice are the tools for a succesful relationship. Just like everything else in life, when you want something you have to work for it. And more importantly, accepting yourself and making YOU happy before anyone else should/could. (family,friends, partners)Without giving away too much, here you go.

This is the type of article you need to share with your friends. Enjoy!! #truth

                      

   We live under a massive cultural delusion about the nature of real love. Propagated by mainstream media, from the time you're born you're inundated with the belief that love is a feeling and that when you find "the one" you'll sense it in your gut and be overcome by an undeniable sense of knowing. When the feeling and corresponding knowing fade (for the knowing is intimately linked to the feeling) and the work of learning about real love begins, most people take the diminished feeling as a sign that they're in the wrong relationship and walk away. And then they start over again, only to find that the now-familiar knowing and feeling fade again... and again... and again.If love isn't a feeling, what is it?
    Love is action. Love is tolerance. Love is learning your partner's love language and then expressing love in a way that he can receive. Love is giving. Love is receiving. Love is plodding through the slow eddies of a relationship without jumping ship into another's churning rapids. Love is recognizing that it's not your partner's job to make you feel alive, fulfilled, or complete; that's your job. And it's only when you learn to become the source of your own aliveness and are living your life connected to the spark of genius that is everyone's birthright can you fully love another.
Although it's nearly impossible to capture this elusive word into a single definition, M. Scott Peck says it poignantly in The Road Less Traveled:
Love is as love does. Love is an act of will -- namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.  By stating that it is when a couple falls out of love that they may begin to really love I am also implying that real love does not have its roots in a feeling of love. To the contrary, real love often occurs in a context in which the feeling of love is lacking, when we act lovingly despite the fact that we don't feel loving.

   And as my favorite fiction writer on real love, Kate Kerrigan (author of a must-read for every engaged and newlywed couple, "Recipes for a Perfect Marriage"), writes in her fabulous essay, Marriage Myths:

You don't have to encourage it, or welcome it, but you better learn to suck it up from time to time. We have mythologized love to such an extent that people are no longer prepared for the realities of long-term relationships. We are taught that it is good not to compromise, not to put up with anything we don't like, not to sacrifice our own beliefs for anyone or anything. Yet compromise and sacrifice are the cornerstones of marital love. No matter what way you dress it up, the best thing you can bring to a marriage is not the feeling of 'being in love', but romance's poor relation: tolerance. Add to that enough maturity to be able to fulfil your own needs and you have some hope. Optimism and chemistry, which seem to be the bedrock of the modern marriage, just don't cut it, folks. And while I am pontificating, one more tip for the ladies: Try to find a man who has that most underrated of qualities: character. I did and so far my Oscar hasn't bothered him. Although I am still waiting for my cooked breakfast...
Sound pessimistic? It's reality, not a welcome word in a culture addicted to fantasy. But here's the good news: when the initial infatuation feeling fades and you do the real work of learning how to love and be loved, something infinitely richer and sustaining than flimsy infatuation flowers in the garden of your marriage. Over time, these plants grow roots that are sturdy and strong. They are nourished by soil that is well-worked as you've sat beside each other and yanked out the weeds of intolerance, impatience, frustration, and fear. It's work that can and must be cultivated over a lifetime, and yet we expect to enter marriage with a perfect, rose-filled garden.

Again, this is the fantasy that our culture propagates and throws many young people into despair when their fledging relationship fails to measure up to these unrealistic and damaging expectations. If you're in a fulfilling, long-term marriage, you know what I mean and I'm preaching to the choir. But for the women and men who I work with every day in counseling, it's a crushing moment when the infatuation drug wears off and they're left to begin the real work of loving. And it's even more devastating when this happens during their engagement, a time our culture hammers into their head as the happiest in their life.

It's time to send a different message to young people about the difference between infatuation and love. If we're going to restore marriage to a place of honor and respect, we must teach that the role of one's partner is not to save you from yourself and make you feel alive, fulfilled, and complete; only you can do that. It's time to teach a different message. Let's begin the conversation here!!!!

credit: Sheryl Paul
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-paul/what-is-love_2_b_1446105.html 

    Mother's Day Special Message!!This is a Must Read!!!
Hi Lovely people, I wanted to make sure I blog this week particularly because it’s mother’s day on Sunday and didn’t want to miss what I wanted to share. My mum is the most important human being in my life and I know it’s the same for most people. There is nothing like a mother’s love and it should never go unnoticed. Most of us were raised with single mothers who did everything and still will do anything to see us happy.
  As Washington Irving puts it “a mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”
I came across the story below a few months after the Japanese tsunami/ earthquake and I was really touched, to say the least. This story is a true example of a mother’s sacrifice and love for their children.  As mother’s day approaches (May 13, 2012), let’s take the time to reflect on all the sacrifices and special moments we shared with our mother’s. Let’s make it a point to honor them and make them feel loved always but particularly on mother’s day, take time to say “I love you and appreciate all you do for me”.

   Please read this heartfelt story and share your own stories about the Mother’s in your Life!!! This will touch you, trust me! I also looked for some great mother's day deals online for yall. Thank me later..lol!! Lots of Love!

               
           
It is so easy for us to get off track in life… to become distracted from the things that really matter. When that happens to me I lose my sense of perspective and balance in life. The following true story brought it all home again. I choose love over fear!
    After the Earthquake had subsided, when the rescuers reached the ruins of a young woman’s house, they saw her dead body through the cracks. But her pose was somehow strange that she knelt on her knees like a person was worshiping; her body was leaning forward, and her two hands were supporting by an object. The collapsed house had crashed her back and her head.
With so many difficulties, the leader of the rescuer team put his hand through a narrow gap on the wall to reach the woman’s body. He was hoping that this woman could be still alive. However, the cold and stiff body told him that she had passed away for sure.  He and the rest of the team left this house and were going to search the next collapsed building. For some reason, the team leader was driven by a compelling force to go back to the ruin house of the dead woman. Again, he knelt down and used his hand through the narrow cracks to search the little space under the dead body. Suddenly, he screamed with excitement," A child! There is a child! “
The whole team worked together; carefully they removed the piles of ruined objects around the dead woman. There was a 3 months old little boy wrapped in a flowery blanket under his mother’s dead body. Obviously, the woman had made an ultimate sacrifice for saving her son. When her house was falling, she used her body to make a cover to protect her son. The little boy was still sleeping peacefully when the team leader picked him up.  The medical doctor came quickly to exam the little boy. After he opened the blanket, he saw a cell phone inside the blanket. There was a text message on the screen. It said,” If you can survive, you must remember that I love you.” This cell phone was passing around from one hand to another. Everybody that read the message wept. ” If you can survive, you must remember that I love you.” Such is the mother’s love for her child!! That mother’s life was cut short, but the longevity and power of her love will live on. *♥*

I love you MOM!! Steals and Deals: 

http://www.personalizationmall.com/

http://hip2save.com/2012/05/08/jills-steals-and-deals-mothers-day-flowers-jewelry-more/

http://www.fatwallet.com/mothers-day-deals/

http://shopping.aol.com/articles/2012/05/04/aol-exclusive-mothers-day-deals/

http://www.southernsavers.com/2012/05/living-social-groupon-daily-deals-for-mothers-day/

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/clearance.jsp

http://www.teleflora.com/

      

    Hi yall, Yes…I missed u guys! You know I love blogging and am happy to be back!!

I asked people to give me ideas on topics to blog about and they came through with some really cool topics! :) So I have decided to address all those requested topics. Am gonna address the first two within the next couple of days! But before I go any further, I wanna say THANK YOU to you all for being my lovely and loyal audience, a lot of people have told me nice things about this blog, and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

   Now let’s get down to business, one of the things people really wanted to know was what “the tell-tale signs” were, that your relationship is going down the drain! So I went to work found a simple but interesting article that gives you some insight.
 I must say however that, although some of these signs are accurate based statistics and research, do not rush to judgment (if you are experiencing them) but rather take it us a wakeup call to examine your relationship and make decisions. It might not be as it seems. With all that being said, enjoy the read! Love you guys!!Will be back tomorrow as promised with a topic I actually discussed with my friend, “doing the most”, it’s a juicy one…Stay Tuned!!

          Generally, it is easy to tell if you're in a good relationship. You and your partner are happy, you enjoy the time you spend together doing things you love, you miss them when you are apart, and your friends and family comment about how well you complement one another. It is easy to see the characteristics of a solid partnership, but somewhat more difficult to decide if you and your partner are in a bad relationship...especially if that relationship is long-distance or naturally involves long periods of separation.
If you and your partner spend much of your time apart, it can be easy to miss some warning signs that your relationship is changing for the worse, but many of the signs of a relationship in decline remain the same whether partners are in the same room, down the street, or halfway around the world. Here are some common signs that your relationship may be in decline.

 1. You start finding distractions to avoid talking to one another. Talking to your partner about what's going on in your life, what's on your mind, or even what you had for lunch is healthy. Talking is one way we share our lives with others. When you (or your partner) find yourself constantly making excuses as to why you can't talk at the moment or conversations flounder because one or both of you remain silent and stoic, it shows that you are no longer interested in sharing your thoughts with your partner. Occasional silence is not a bad thing, sometimes there's just not much to talk about. However, if your conversations consist primarily of uncomfortably long periods of silence, your relationship may be in trouble.

2. Conversations consist of nothing but small talk. While silence can be a sign of the relationship breaking down, so can conversations that consist of nothing but "fluff." Most people default to idle chatter if they cannot find any meaningful connection with the person they are talking to. If you find yourself consistently talking about the weather with your sweetheart, perhaps you are lacking a strong connection.

 3. You stop doing nice things for each other. When you first started dating, you sent random text messages to let them know you were thinking about them, kept their favorite snacks on hand, picked up little gifts while out shopping, and wore that shirt or dress they love when you knew you would be seeing them. If you find you're forgetting to do those things – that they just don't occur to you – your feelings for your partner may be changing.

 4. You fight over minor things. Almost all couples bicker over small things at points, but if you and your partner find yourself fighting more and more about little stuff and getting quite heated about it, it may be a sign that more is wrong than whose turn it is to take out the trash.

 5. Your sex life changes dramatically. If you find that the level of affection in the relationship has dropped dramatically, this is typically a major red flag. Do you still hug and kiss when one of you leaves or returns home? When holding, kissing, and making love to your partner stops being appealing for reasons you can't define, it's time to worry.

If any of these warning signs seem familiar, take a moment to consider what may be causing them. Most problems can be solved if both parties are committed and willing to put work into the relationship. However, if you find that you simply are no longer interested in pursuing a long-term connection, it is best to be honest about your feelings with your partner and end the relationship.
 

“Let’s Talk about “……” Baby, let’s talk about you and me”

Before I start, let me just say, this is PG 21. (Lol, 21 is legal)…In all seriousness, this is an Adult convo. (Don’t want teenagers getting any ideas)Thanks!!

I know you’ve filled in the blanks by now. Well, ever since I started blogging, people (esp boys) have suggested I talk about this topic, but I have been leery about it until this week. Long story short, I visited the much anticipated Museum of Sex in NYC this weekend and was convinced by my friend T to blog about it. Also the topic of one of my favorite shows GCB this week was sex so I felt it fit to blog about it today.

Sex is a beautiful thing created by God. Scientist say that sex has so many health advantages,  sex improves heart health, improves intimacy, reduces prostate cancer, boots immunity, burns calories, relieves stress and much more.

In the natural order of things, it is the most appropriate way to reproduce ( FYI: the bible teaches us to have sex when married) If you are going to have sex when not married, make sure you protect yourself and be responsible. Actually, its NECESSARY THAT YOU DO. ALSO remember ABSTINENCE IS COOL (if that’s what you choose to do, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise).Anyway this is not intended to be a sex education post, maybe that will come later.

  My trip to the MUSEUM OF SEX was interesting to say the least. I would encourage everyone who lives in NYC to go and visit, it’s on 28^th and 5^th Ave, Manhattan and there’s a 17.50 fee and 15.75 fee for a student with valid ID.

   

The museum of sex explores the history, evolution and cultural significance of sexuality. There are 3 floors, the first and third are dedicated to humans and the 2^nd to animal sexuality. I felt like a “kid in a candy store” because I felt quite intrigued reading and looking at all the exhibits particularly when it comes to the animal kingdom. You are given detailed literature as well as graphic presentations in regards to sexuality. Pretty cool!!!. Anyway, since we were allowed to take pictures, I DIddd!!! and wanted to share with yall. However I am only sharing the “clean” version (lol). For those interested in the “other versions” and much more VISIT the museum anytime you are in NYC.  Here’s the link… http://www.museumofsex.com/  thank me later!

 

 

 

Ladiesss…..Let's Talk Fashion!!! Before you go shopping for summer and spring…Read this!!!

Woke up this morning and the first thing that came to mind was fashion. Mmmm…maybe because the last thing I saw the previous night was my new favorite fashion show “Styled by June”. June Ambrose has a unique and daring sense of style and I love her. It might also be due to the lovely spring weather I woke up to.
I am not a shopaholic but I have an addiction for shoes and… purses lately. Your sense of fashion, I believe should depend on your personal preference and has everything to do with your confidence.

 Anyway, I wanted to share with my ladies, my fave and hottest fashion trend of “spring 2012”. I am in LOVE with this trend because it’s a bold and Fun trend.

COLOR BLOCKING!! Color blocking is a technique where blocks of various fabrics are sewn together to create clothing (including shoes and purses) with a few different solid colors. Color blocking can be challenging though, because you don't want to look tacky(and it happens when your colors don't blend well.) MAKE FLATTERING CHOICES WHEN COLOR BLOCKING AND DON'T OVERDO IT. Your safe bet usually is to go neutral with a block of color. However for those who want to go very bold(which makes it more fun), you can experiment with different colors, (mix garments of contrasting colors, or one color throughout entire outfit in different hues). Always remember, when finalizing the finishing touches of your outfit, choose the simple route.
Here are some examples of some color blocking techniques/styles!!

I like the blend of colors. They are bright and bold. Perfect

" My friend in my head"...Kelly looks AMAZING!! Find two colors that mix perfectly and it can create magic.

This is a settled form but very simple and chic.

I loveeeee this!I love the fact that the red hair adds to the outfit.

Fun,Fun,Fun. Perfect for a day event!

Keep it simple, don't go crazy with the colors if they don't blend well!

Shoess!! The floral print is my fave.

The best thing about color blocking shoes is that you have a variety of options when it comes to choosing an outfit to wear with them.

I tried it! :) I love the shoesss!

If you want to try out color blocking and need a guide, read the link below, it will give u step by step guide of how to master color blocking like a Pro. http://www.corporatefashionista.com/how-to-master-color-blocking-like-a-pro/

Did you miss me Ladies??(Sorry been busy and also I usually want to get inspired by a topic before I research) anyway, here we go. Am back againnnn!!
 I woke up this morning and the first topic that came to mind while wanting to blog was, ways to “keep the flames burning” in your relationship. I think this is very important especially for married couples and people that have been in relationships for a while. So I decided to do my research and viola I found a very good article. Enjoy…it’s worth it. ReadFollowComment
Ps: shoutout to Anj,Luu,Sela,Shells and maa..keep the comments coming.Thank u!

       
 It’s sad to say, but the divorce rate is still at 50% in America. Why so high? No one knows for sure. But we do know that it affects people all over the country, with our children paying the highest price. Marriage and relationships are hard. Everyone that’s ever been in one knows that much. There are good times, there are great times, and there are bad times, and even worse times. Life is like a roller-coaster, and marriage is no different. Read on for some tips on how to keep the fire burning in your relationship.
Find your best friend! Hopefully you are already married to them. It’s no secret that great relationships are based off of a good “friend” foundation. Personally, I married my best friend. We met in high school, and while there was definitely chemistry and attraction, we were friends first. We went through out high school dating other people, but going to the same parties and had some mutual groups of friends. We really had a chance to get to know each other, and even sort of grew up together in a sense. We developed inside jokes, memories, and a foundation of real friendship. Throughout the years, the friendship expanded to lust, and after high school we began dating. We’ve been together ever since – 10 years later. Being friends first has strengthened our relationship ten-fold. We know each other inside and out, and we truly enjoy being together. Being friends first really helps as you get farther down the road into your marriage – we all know the flame doesn’t always continue to burn bright, 20 years later. But the friendship is something that never blows out. The friendship is the rock of your relationship. The stability. The comfort. So find your best friend, and if you have married your best friend, you’re already there!

Keep the “newness” alive. One of the most exciting aspects of a new relationship is learning about your partner, and feeling that spark and the butterflies that come along with it. So what do you do after you know everything there is to know about your spouse and everyday life and routines take their toll? Add some spice! Try new things together! Start a mutual hobby. Start a collection. Try new restaurants. Travel to new places! Be adventuresome! Advance your knowledge of each other by learning new things together. It also helps to keep photo albums or video tapes. Every so often, remind yourselves of your history together. Watch old videos/DVD’s of things you’ve done together. Look through old pictures. Rekindle your memories and keep them alive.

Don’t ever stop communicating! We hear it all the time. Communication is KEY in any relationship. Well, it really is the truth. Life throws us curveballs – all of us. And you won’t be happy 100% of the time. When one of you feels down, or angry, it is important to communicate in the proper way. Not expressing feelings and thoughts about difficult issues – money, work, kids, illnesses, other relationships, etc – can really put a damper on a marriage. Always be honest and never keep things inside. Relationships are all about support, even and especially in hard times.

LAUGH OFTEN! Laughing in general keeps you happy. Laughing with your spouse keeps your relationship healthy. This is one of my favorite parts of my relationship with my husband. Luckily I married the funniest person I know – so this part is pretty easy for me. Laugh – about anything and everything! It keeps us young, and it keeps us feeling alive. Laugh about movies, TV shows, books, songs, memories, word slip-ups, funny happenings throughout the day – ANYTHING! Some of my best moments with my husband are just lying in bed laughing – sometimes even about nothing (yes, he’s that funny.)

Don’t stop flirting!! Most couples get too comfortable with each other after they’ve been together for a long time. This can be good, but it can always be bad. Comfortable couples tend to forget to flirt. Give your husband or wife the “eye” from across the room at a party, event, or even just in the grocery store. Make sure you let the other one know you are still “in” to them. Don’t let life’s busy, hectic, routine way interfere with the simple foundation and attraction that brought you two together. Send your spouse sweet notes or texts every once in awhile. Poke fun of one another – this will help with the laughing, too. Just be sure you do it tastefully! Don’t hurt feelings, and don’t do it too often. Done in the right way, a little playful banter back and forth is good for a relationship.

Keep the bedroom hot! We all know that life can get in the way of an active, busy sex-life. People get tired after they work all day, make dinner, care for the kids, etc. Again, don’t let life get in the way of the basic principles of your relationship! This is especially true for sex. Make sure you’re having it, and more than a few times a month. Not only is it crucial to your relationship, it has many health benefits as well. And don’t let it get boring or routine! Spice things up – depending on your comfort zone, add some fun – erotica, music, candles, etc. Again, try new things! Don’t become boring and predictable. And again, don’t get too comfortable. Wear lingerie from time to time. You don’t have to always be in a full set of makeup and done up hair, but remember to still try to look good for your man. (same goes for men!) Try not to “let yourself go” – meaning – you should still want to be attractive to your spouse years later. Don’t forget that. Oh, and an obvious one – stay away from temptations. Simply put, this is a big deal. Infidelity and addiction (in any area) can be serious wounds to a relationship.

Don’t forget to do the things you used to do to “court” each other. Flowers and candy go along way. Broke? No biggie. You don’t have to spend money to keep your spouse happy. Sometimes the little things mean so much more. The stigma exists that men don’t do anything around the house. Doing a spontaneous load of dishes or load of laundry – when it isn’t typically your chore – goes a long way. You know what makes each other happy. You know what makes your spouse light up. Don’t forget those things, and don’t stop doing them! Just because you’ve already “won the girl” (or guy!) doesn’t mean you’re done courting. Marriage is work – forever! Don’t get lazy.

Keep saying “I love you.” You should say it every day. And mean it. Too often we say it just as a habit, or because we have to. Don’t let that be you. Say it and mean it every time. Be affectionate as often as you can. Don’t ever let your spouse wonder if you still love them as much as you used to. Healthy marriages are always growing and evolving, and healthy couples continue to love each other more and more throughout the years. That doesn’t mean they don’t have problems. It just means their foundation is strong enough to get through the bad times as a stronger, healthier couple than before. Don’t forget why you got together in the first place. Don’t forget what you love about your partner, and tell them that every once in awhile. Give complements. Don’t forget memories. And learn from your mistakes and your troubles. Don’t stop loving each other! Be the 50% that makes it!!!

Source:http://ashleygray.hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Keep-the-Flame-Burning-in-Your-Relationship
Article by Ashley Gray

MUST READ!!OVERCOMING INSECURITIES IN RELATIONSHIPS!!!Pls Read fully...THIS WILL SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!

Yesterday was the premiere of one of my fave shows, Lala's full court life which focuses on Lala (a friend in my head...lol) and Carmelo Anthony, their close friends and family. I also like the fact that her bff..(a friend in my head) Kelly Rowland is a regular.
Today’s blog is based on a subject that was touched on yesterday… INSECURITIES.  In the premiere, Lala feels insecure after her friends comment on how pretty her husband… NBA star Carmelo’s assistant is. More on the show when I do my reality show re-cap.
HOWEVER I WANTED TO ADDRESS THIS SENSITIVE AND TOUCHY SUBJECT THAT ALMOST ALL WOMEN FACE IN RELATIONSHIPS AND TRY AND PROVIDE SOME INSIGHT AND SOLUTIONS TO THIS ISSUE.This article has all the answers. Thank me later..lol...Lets Talk Ladiess!!!

                                                           
              
Insecurity spoils relationships. Insecurity drives people to become too ‘clingy’ or needy and this creates problems.
Feeling insecure in a relationship is natural up to a point, at least until the relationship “settles”. Let’s look at this in more depth:
Relationships: A security issue
When we enter an intimate relationship we can feel very emotionally vulnerable; especially if we have felt let down or hurt in previous relationships.
•Will they reject me?
•Have I done something to upset them?
•This is just too good to last!

These are the typical thoughts and feelings of the chronically insecure partner. Being insecure is a whole lot of hard work. So what does it involve?
Seeing problems where none exist
When we become anxious about anything, we start looking for signs of things ‘going wrong’ (nervous flyers look out for signs that the aircraft is in trouble). And, of course, we usually find what we’re looking for, even if it isn’t really there at all.
We perform constant monitoring: “Do they look fed up? Why did they say that? Who’s this other person they’ve mentioned? Should I feel threatened? Are they less attentive? Why did they pause after I suggested we meet up?” All this is exhausting.
Emma said she had often felt inadequate and “not good enough” to be with her current partner. She couldn’t possibly understand what he could see in her.
She also told me she had ended many previous relationships because of her insecurity. “It felt easier for me to end it before they did!” Walking away rather than risk the pain of feeling abandoned can seem the easiest thing to do. But we all need the comforts and support that intimacy can bring us. So what can you do if insecurity is blighting your relationships?

Tip 1: Stop confusing imagination with reality
Making stuff up and then believing it is a sure-fire way to self-torment.
The insecure flyer will hear the normal mechanism of the air conditioning and twist it within their imagination to signify impending doom via crash and burn. They’ll imagine the bored look on an air steward’s face to be barely concealed terror because, “He must know something we don’t!” The over-imaginative flyer may even fantasize the sound of the landing gear coming down is an engine falling from the plane. They scare themselves by assuming what they imagine represents reality.
There are normal ‘mechanisms’ to any relationship. There are ebbs and flows and mood changes, moments of intimacy and closeness and comfortable spaces. These ebbs and flows are normal. Wanting to be absolutely close and intimate all the time is like wanting an aeroplane to never make a sound or a movement.
Next time you feel insecure, ask yourself what it is you are imagining. Write it down on paper under, ‘Stuff I am making up in my head.’ Being able to distinguish between what you imagine and what is actually happening is a massive step toward self-assurance. Which neatly links to…

Tip 2: Avoid the Certainty Trap
Overcoming relationship insecurity is partly about becoming less controlling. This may sound strange, but feeling that: “This relationship must be exactly as I think it should be!” is a form of over-control. A sign of insecurity in relationships is when the desire for certainty becomes too strong.
Having to know whether your partner really loves you, having to know this or having to know that puts a lot of unnecessary strain and tension into the relationship. The fact is, we all have to live with uncertainty. Insecure people can still feel insecure even when they are told they are loved. Wanting what is not possible (complete and utter certainty in all and everything forever) is not possible because imagination can still make up doubts. So stop looking for certainty where it doesn’t apply.
Self-assurance comes from starting to relax with uncertainty. Wanting to know for certain that someone will be with you forever prevents you enjoying the here and now. Nothing in life is certain.

Tip 3: Give the relationship room to breathe
When you plant a seed in the ground, you need to give it access to sunlight, water, and air; you need to give it space to develop. Your relationship needs room to breathe. Schedule in some ‘separate time’ and just see it for what it is. The developing flower needing space to grow isn’t a sign that it is heading for collapse.

Tip 4: Stop ‘mind reading’
Constantly wondering what your partner is thinking is a quick route to anxiety. If they say one thing don’t assume they mean another. If they say nothing don’t assume that their silence is significant, either.
Many men relax by not talking. Constantly wondering and asking what someone is thinking is a dead end because even if they do tell, will you believe them anyway?
‘Mind reading’ happens when we assume we know what someone is thinking when we don’t. When you stop doing it, you really begin to respect someone’s privacy because everyone deserves the right to have space to think their own thoughts. Constantly asking, “What are you thinking?” can make someone want to withdraw further.

Tip 5: Stop comparing current relationships to past ones
Have you ever taken an instant disliking/liking to someone merely because they reminded you of someone else who you disliked/liked? Some people do this with whole relationships. Because they were in a relationship with someone who was abusive, very critical or dishonest, or who left them, they respond to a new partner defensively or angrily when, in fact, the new partner is not really like the old one at all.
The extreme form of this ‘sloppy comparison’ can lead to destructive over-generalizations such as, “All men are lying bastards!” or “All women are promiscuous money grabbers!”
If you suspect you have been making faulty unfair comparisons between your current partner and a former one, then write a list of all the destructive traits of your former partner. Write next to this list all the ways your current partner is different and review this list regularly. This will help you to stop assuming that the future has to be like the past.

Tip 6: For security: Seek self-assurance
Rather than always looking to the other person to make you feel secure in your relationship, get into the habit of reassuring yourself. Start to challenge your own fears and imaginings rather than just accepting them. Ask yourself: “Hold on a second. What real evidence is there for this fear?” At the same time you can focus on the thought: “Okay, nothing in this life is certain and I can live with that. And even if this relationship did end, I’m strong enough to go through it and ride it and will have learnt things from it.” We all need to go with the flow in relationships. What we fear will be ‘the end of the world’ if it happens never really is.
Sit down, close your eyes, and strongly imagine feeling relaxed and secure around your partner. This will train your brain to feel that “whatever happens, I’ll be okay.”

And finally…
Tip 7: Focus on the good
Relationships are meant to be fun (at least some of the time). Insecure people look for signs of what’s not working. I want you to look for signs of what is.
Doing this will get you and your partner feeling naturally more positive.
No meaningful relationship will always totally work all the time. Being too black or white about relationships spells trouble. There are always some difficulties, but keep focussing on what is good.
This doesn’t mean that you have to accept anyone who will accept you, even if they are obviously not right for you. But it does mean that if there are occasional problems, you don’t have to ‘throw the baby out with the bathwater’ and become so destructive that the relationship ends or so clingy that your partner ends it for you.
Emma learned to relax and enjoy her relationship. She stopped feeling she had to control what her partner thought or did and her new laidback attitude made it easier for their love to genuinely blossom.
A good relationship is there for you to enjoy together, to share resources and develop together in healthy ways. If someone really does treat you badly or lies and cheats, then feeling insecure is a natural and justified response. However, if you’re actually in a generally good relationship, then follow these tips because what you have is precious.
But possibly not as precious as the knowledge that whatever happens, you can relax because you’ll be okay

Source: http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/overcoming-insecurity-in-relationships/
Article by Mark Tyrell

Controversial Topics!!
Should Rihanna go back to Chris Brown??They have a new video together,pretty much suggesting that!Watch. And beyonce's video leaked..." why did God give me this talent? Why?hmm..Lets Talk!!

This discussion about Rihanna and Chris Brown has been an ongoing topic that I discuss with friends every now and then.

Let me just say this! UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE WILL I CONDONE VIOLENCE/ABUSE…EVER…AND IF YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP….GET OUT NOW, LOOK FOR HELP..YOU HAVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU (Even if you don’t think so)!!!!!!!!!IT IS NOT OK AND UNACCEPTABLE..DONT LET ANYONE TELL U OTHERWISE!

However, (lol..and I  know  u knew this was coming)this happened when they were relatively younger(no excuse but it’s a factor, because yall know these “teenagers” can act very reckless), they barely know anything about how to treat ladies for the most part, and its through maturity and growth that you learn.

 Listen, we all make mistakes, and the bible says “he who has not committed any sin let him be the first to throw stones”(paraphrased). Forgiveness is key, to “err is human and to forgive is DIVINE.” Since we all make mistakes I believe that she has the right to forgive him and make good songs with him if she wishes.

AS FAR AS DATING AGAIN IS CONCERNED, THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY….RIHANNA IS A GROWN WOMAN NOW…AND SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO KNOWS WHAT SHES BEEN THROUGH..SHE HAS ALL THE SUPPORT IN THE WORLD (which most abused people don’t have). I BELIEVE SHE KNOWS WHO SHE IS AND IF SHE DECIDES TO GO BACK TO HIM DESPITE WHAT THE WORLD IS SAYING THEN IT’S HER CHOICE. LET HER MAKE HER OWN MISTAKES IF SHE WANTS TO. AND IF THEY END UP PEACEFULLY FINE..IF NOT..THEN OWELL IT’S HER CHOICE AND ACTIONS.

 AS TO PEOPLE SAYING CHRIS BROWN SHOULDNT SING, HE SHOULDN’T WIN A GRAMMY..BLAH BLAH, I JUST THINK ITS HYPOCRISY. All these celebrities make mistakes and they are given multiple chances. Why can’t he have any? Is it because he’s……..lol…lemme stop!! But seriously, even Charlie sheen with all his messes just got a new show. HE IS GOOD AT WHAT HE DOES (MUSIC) AND YOU SHOULDN’T STRIP THAT FROM HIM COS OF HIS PERSONAL LIFE. AFTERALL RIHANNA (WHOM WE ARE ALL DEFENDING) DOESN’T SEEM TO CARE!!

Ps: I heard a rumor today on radio that Jay and Bey gave Rihanna an ultimatum to stop hanging with Chris brown or she won’t be allowed to see Blue Ivy. Okkkkk…*blank stare*…I don’t believe it, but if that is the case, well it’s their baby and hence they can do whatever they want…period pointblank!!

TALK OF BEYONCE..SAW THIS ON FACEBOOK AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK...IDK IF IT’S EVEN REAL. But this is what I will say, I love Beyoncé, and as much as fame and fortune can be good, it hinders u in a lot of ways. Therefore I completely understand where she is coming from. Sometimes you just want to live a normal life and with her status it can be very hard. The whole world has its eyes on you. Poor girl, I feel for you! It can definitely be overwhelming but keep your head up and like you said, stay grateful.

Have you ever wondered why women get drunk faster than men?!! Well there's a reason why, even if they drink the same amount as men!Its not fair..but so is Life!!

You’ve probably heard that most of the human body is made up of water. But girls actually have less water in their bodies than boys do. This is perfectly normal—in fact, most of the time it makes no difference at all. But because water helps to dilute alcohol, if a girl and a guy drink the same amount of alcohol, the girl will have a higher concentration of alcohol in her blood. So, girls get drunk faster—but many don’t realize it. And that’s a danger.

 Ready to get technical? Alcohol dehydrogenase (ADH) is an enzyme that breaks down alcohol in your stomach so that less of it enters your circulatory system. In girls this enzyme is less active, meaning that when girls drink the same amount as guys, more alcohol enters girls’ blood stream.

 You probably already know that your period makes your hormones go crazy, but there’s another side to this story. These monthly hormone changes can also affect the way your body processes alcohol. To make a long story short: Girls get drunk faster and stay drunk longer than boys. That means it will take less alcohol to make you do something you’ll regret, and you’ll have less time to avoid alcohol poisoning!

Source:http://grltlk.wordpress.com/

Silence is Golden? Got a new BF!?MUST READ
Came across this article and loved it, decided to copy and paste instead of sending a link. Everyone girl can learn a thing or two from this. Enjoy and tell me what you think> Leave a comment!Lets Talk!!

Got a great new BF? Congrats! You've gotten over the first big hurdle of teen dating: finding a cool guy who's way worthy of you. But here comes that second hurdle: knowing the secrets of being the GF he can't wait to hang out with.

Silence is golden One of the biggest mistakes a new GF can make? Blabbing to the gang about the mushy text messages he sends you, how he goes out of his way to walk you to soccer practice and the funny little IM exchange you two had last night. Of course, it's all wonderful and adorable, but ...

The truth is, most guys don't like their love lives becoming fodder for gossip sessions. Once he catches wind of your loose-lip fests, he'll likely be less than happy about it. So keep those details on the DL.

Let freedom ring As much as you like being alone with your guy, you two will be spending hang time with his crew, too. Nobody says you have to like them all, but they're his buddies so be pleasant, at the very least.

That said, you don't want to be the constant tag-along gal. Just like you and your friends enjoy a girls' night out, your boyfriend deserves to have guy-bonding time. Don't take his wanting to hang with the guys as a rejection of you or your new relationship. It's actually healthy for couples to do things apart from each other. Besides, if you spend every waking moment with your boy, you two are bound to get bored.

Stay true to you Changing for a BF is bad, bad, bad. If he' really a good guy, he should like you for who you are. A guy who pressures you to lose weight or put on more makeup or wear different clothes, isn't worth a minute of your time. This is not to say he can't make suggestions ("You're really cute in that red halter"), but your personal style is ultimately up to you.

Also, don't pretend to be someone you're not. Don't tell him you love Slipknot when you're into Jessica Simpson or that you're an avid water-skier if you can barely tread water. You'll wind up miserable at a metal concert or drowning in the deceit when he's eventually on to you. If he turns you on to something that genuinely interests you, great. You never knew baseball was such a blast? You two can munch nachos together while watching the World Series.

No need to be needy Yes, you adore him. But your new guy doesn't define who you are, and you definitely don't need him. A guy can tire very quickly of a girl who follows him around like a puppy and hangs on his every move. He'll have loads more respect and find you much more attractive if you show him that you have your own goals and passions in life.

Guys like girls who are confident with themselves and can blaze their own trails. Don't leave him 10 messages in one day and expect him to be thrilled about it. In fact, that can be just plain scary. If he's unavailable for the moment, leave it at that and find something else to do (besides sitting by the phone waiting for a return call, please).

Think line a guy As in, live for the moment. Girls tend to fantasize about the future while guys ... don't. Telling him how much you're looking forward to the months-away Christmas dance, while he's looking forward to a cheese-steak for lunch, is a recipe for disaster.

The trick is not to obsess or set yourself up for disappointment. Enjoy your time with him, and take things lightly. Instead of talking about twirling under the mistletoe, do the guy thing and chat about what vid to rent tonight. Keep the drama on your TV, or you might hear these two words: The End.

COPYRIGHT 2004 Monarch Avalon, Inc.

COPYRIGHT 2004 Gale Group

Credit-http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0IBX/is_1_11/ai_n6151462/ by Eric Sorocco

       

Beyonce!!!

I love this woman and her music speaks volumes especially to women. She is all about girl power and I just wanted to share some of my favorite songs/videos with yall. Enjoy!!

Ps: Be sure to share your thoughts on the first controversial topic on my blog,Open marriages.!!

One of my all time Favorite!!

I learnt the choreography to this song..ahhaha #memories

Lunch Read!!

Open Marriage??? Thoughts anyone??

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-kramer-bussel/the-case-for-open-relatio_b_76016.html

http://www.acheatinghusband.com/3-reasons-why-i-would-of-rather-had-an-%E2%80%98open-marriage%E2%80%99-vs-a-cheating-spouse/

So I came across these articles and thought I would share them. I watched Dr Phil a couple of weeks ago and it was on this same topic. To be honest, open relationship is a fairly new concept to me. I was born and raised in Ghana and not even on one occasion did I hear this ever being discussed. It is only when I came to America that I heard people talking about it. What are your thoughts on this People? I personally would NEVER agree to an open anything..lol..but that’s just me. I am Christian, and the bible makes marriage exclusive (Monogamy)...one man..one woman and that's what I go by. But do you think an open marriage could EVER be helpful? What would you do if your partner wanted one? And should you agree to an open marriage for the fear of being cheated on? These articles, one way or the other suggest that. For the purpose of this discussion, am going to stay objective and neutral as I can be. Let's talk!!

Honor Thy Parents!



Hi Ladies,

This weekend, I was at a 60^th bday party and it was just beautiful. It was organized by the children. You could feel the love in the room and you could tell that they put so much work into making their mother smile. It was a very beautiful and emotional event.

The first commandment with a promise is to "honor our parents" Ephesians 6:1-3. As we go through life, let us always make it a priority to hold our parents near and dear and to cherish them. Life is short! And as we think of becoming parents in the future, let us think of the rewards both from God and our children and make sure we do the outmost best we can for them. Prayer is the key! There's an Akan proverb that says "if your parents take care of you to grow teeth, you also have to take care of them till their teeth fall out"...Direct translation...lol..but u get it right? lol

Let us all cherish our parents and show them how much we love them.

And to the single mothers who work tirelessly for us. We say thank you!

 More of this “moochiness” will come during mother's day but I just wanted to share this thought with yall. Have a Blessed Week and Happy Mondayyy!!

  

This is the first of(possibly) a weekly REALITY SHOW/SERIES ROUND-UP! Guilty Pleasures!

On Saturdays, I will be recapping some of our favorite reality shows/series. Every time I am watching these reality shows I have opinions and comments, so I sometimes talk about it with friends or give my comments on social media or discuss it with my mum,believe it or not..lol. Her favorites are basketball wives, love and hip hop and the Kardashians(well at least until Kim’s divorce) lmao.

Now that I have my blog, I feel it’s the perfect chance to discuss my favorite guilty pleasures with you ladies!!Please join in keeping the discussion going. I will try and stay religious to at least 2 each week so you don't miss out. I also believe this will be a great resource for those who missed it.

Let’s start talking with one of my fave couples on reality TV Khloe and Lamar! Airs on Sunday at 10pm on Etv!

  Hands down, my favorite couple on reality TV!They are soo cuteee. On this week’s episode Lamar and Khloe are unbreakable and I mean literally. Lamar complains that Khloe “babies” him; therefore to avoid that, he decides to teach her a lesson by handcuffing both of them for the entire day. Yes, they even went to a meeting (to discuss their new perfume unbreakable) together handcuffed. I found it funny especially when they had to get into a car with the handcuffs on. Also rob decides to enter into the socks business and convinces Malika to help with the photo-shoot. FYI- Malika looked Hot..lol

I love these two, and if their relationship is really as portrayed, then great cause I will be watching...lol

My New Obsession GCB!!! Airs on Sundays at 10pm on ABC!

                         

 

OMG….This series just began and I lovee it! It’s the first episode and it’s getting great reviews. It starts out with a former mean girl returning to town (Dallas) after her husband dies and she looses everything because he was living a double life! She is all grown now and returns to her neighborhood and church. She is clearly no longer a mean girl, but the girls that she used to be mean to are out for revenge. The setting is mainly at church events and everyone attends the same church where the cattiness mainly happens indirectly through prayers and well-wishes.The girls are watching her every move and make sure she doesn’t get a job and when she finally does, she realizes it is secretly owned by one of the girls she made fun of in high school (who is btw the head of the new mean"christian" bitches in town) and also happens to be her next door neighbor.Will she return to being a mean girl??hmmm…we were given clues towards the end..let’s wait and see!

For those who haven’t watched it…what are you waiting for??? It’s awesome, fun, sassy and funny. Even the guys like it…lol FYI:GCB stands for "Good Christian Bitches"...huh? Yes that's what I said too..lol

                                         

Braxton's Family Values! Airs Thursdays at 9pm!

                                            

This week was all about the girls planning Mama Evelyn's wedding. The girls however seem more interested in the wedding more than the one getting married and they begin to question their mother on her willingness to let this wedding happen. Meanwhile,at a lunch date with Mama Evelyn and her fiance aka  “Doc” and its obvious that he also is not prepared .This makes Evelyn suggest that, maybe they should “elope.” Toni goes to LA to continue working on her album and Traci goes back to DMV to talk to her investor "Daddy Braxton" and look for a place. The girls rehearse to a beautiful rendition of the“Lord’s Prayer” which they intend to sing at their mums wedding. In the end though, Evelyn makes it known to Towanda that she is “calling off” the wedding and will inform her other daughters on the next episode. Stay Tuned!!

      Real Housewives of ATL! Airs on Sundays 9pm on Bravo!

         

  

The girls come back from South Africa and its drama drama drama. This time among the “smalls”, Sheree gossips to Kim about Kandi implying she is a racist while on their trip and all hell breaks loose. In fairness, Kandi never said “She doesn’t see Kim holding a black baby” it’s Cynthia who said that. Nene’s son got arrested for shoplifting at Wal-Mart and Nene shows no signs of bailing him out even when Peter tries to talk her into it. She wants to teach him a lesson and to that I say…way to go NENE!!lol…meanwhile Uncle Peter(lol) starts planning a party for his one year anniversary with Cynthia. Once again, he seems to be budgeting for something that he can’t quite afford. And oo did I say Cynthia brought a gift for her daughter from South Africa and did not bring Peter anything? The worse part it; she gave it to her in front of him…lol…Stay Tuned!!

Basketball Wives Miami! Airs 8pm Mondays on Bravo

                                                                                    

 

 Suzie embarrasses herself at a charity event hosted by Royce by being loud and obnoxious the whole time. The ladies confront Kenya about how she acted towards Keisha when "all Keisha was doing was trying to help her." Also, Tami tried to help Kenya by setting up a meeting for her with her “glam squad” since Kenya is pursuing a music career and might need the help. However, things don’t go well because Kenya arrived late and totally unprepared, now you know Tami gives it to her just like she feels..lmao. Ending this week’s episode is a touching confession of Tami’s abusive past including being raped twice and threatened at gun point; she tells us that this is "why she has anger management issues." Well Tami, I hope one day  you will recover from the injury it might have caused you and move forward. Keep praying and keep your head up.

Ps: I use to love this show, but am beginning to lose interest because of all the cattiness that goes on. Anyway that why it’s a guilty pleasure. All I can say is, no woman should physically fight each other. You can always agree to disagree. Arguments and misunderstandings are ok but it should Never get physical. Nonetheless, I will be watching and giving more recap..lmao

And this ends it, for my weekly reality show/series round-up! Stay Tuned…I will be watching and bringing you more recap!!

I watch Spartacus too...lol...maybe next week I will recap. Idk if you ladies will be interested!